


Mabelton: an American Musical-Act 2

by Artemis_Da_Fox



Series: Mabel Pines is a Fangirl [2]
Category: American Revolution RPF, Gravity Falls, Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Comedy, Crack, Crossover, GRAPLEING HOOK, Gen, Historical References, Human Disaster Alexander Hamilton, Slight OOC, Teenage Dipper Pines, Teenage Dipper Pines and Mabel Pines, Teenage Mabel Pines, Time Travel, but all super competent, but only because they are aged up, car theft, cowboy cyborg dysopia, ill tag as I go to avoid confusion, mention of vomiting, no beta we die like women, not sure where to draw the line, or utiopia, they are all disasters though, this could totes happen, well kinda, you know how gravity falls is
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-14
Updated: 2020-02-24
Packaged: 2021-02-27 04:20:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,094
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22250962
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Artemis_Da_Fox/pseuds/Artemis_Da_Fox
Summary: Mable looks at Dipper, “Future cowboy-cyborg dystopia?”Dipper nods, “Future cowboy-cyborg dystopia.”-------The epic team-up you've all been waiting for: Mabel and Dipper Pines and, you guessed it, a teenage Alexander Hamilton.Watch as this disaster squad goes on a trip through time, leaving nothing behind but a trail of glitter, vomit, and mud.
Relationships: Alexander Hamilton/Mabel Pines, Dipper Pines & Mabel Pines
Series: Mabel Pines is a Fangirl [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1601788
Comments: 4
Kudos: 17





	1. Time Machines, Swivel Chairs, and Vomit

**Author's Note:**

  * For [AllHailProHeroThirteen04102016](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AllHailProHeroThirteen04102016/gifts).



> Okay, so somebody gets thrown up on in this chapter, but it's not described in great detail. If that irks you, then stay safe and don't read.

"Heyyyyyy Dipper…" Mabel leans towards her brother sporting the most innocent grin she could muster while splattered from head to toe in mud. 

Dipper barely looks up from his school history project, "That's your 'I just dropped a gallon of chocolate milk on your bed and I changed the bedding but it still smells like sugar' voice. What trouble are you in this time?" 

Mabel glances back at her companion to make sure his ears are still covered with headphones. "One time, Dipper! That happened one time!!" She sighs, "What if I told you that I… stole one of the Time Paradox Avoidance Enforcement Squadron's time machines and used it to go back in time to chat with Alexander Hamilton but they caught me so I had to flee and accidentally brought him with me?"

Dipper froze, "Mabel," He said, "If I turn around am I going to see Alexander Hamilton in our living room?" He looks up at Mabel, almost as if to plead for her to say she's lying so that he can go back to his history assignment in peace. 

Mabel slowly nods. Dipper turns around in his swivel chair and is met with a truly horrifying sight. A young man, barely older than them, nods his head to the music in the headphones he is wearing. Along with that, he wears weird old-timey clothing streaked with mud and a thick blue fluid. The only thing that gives him away as a future (past?) founding father of America is the length and shape of his nose.

The man notices Dipper watching him and waves, "THESE 'EARPHONES' AS MABEL HAS BEEN SO KIND AS TO DESCRIBE THEM ARE TRULY WONDROUS!"

"Oh no," Whispers Dipper. 

Mabel rushes over to Hamilton and removes the headphones, "Remember what I said about being quiet?"

"We have to bring him back to his own time NOW!" Dipper begins pacing, "He's already seen too much, what if we've already changed history? Quick, check my project to see… OH, GOD Mabel! Look what happened to poor Thomas Jefferson!" Dipper held up the poster part of his project and where a picture of Thomas Jefferson wearing a military uniform was once glued. Now, he was wearing a lime green fuzzy sweater with a pig's face on it. "He needs to go back NOW, Mabel. Where did you put the time machine?" 

Mabel holds up a cracked measuring tape looking device. Out of the crack oozes thick blue goop. "We kinda maybe sorta broke it," 

"Ahhhhh!" Mabel awkwardly pats Dipper on the shoulder to comfort him while also trying to get the least amount of mud on him. 

"Weeeeeeeeeeeee!" The twins turn in unison to see Hamilton spinning way too fast in the swivel chair. 

“You can’t just go around messing with time travel, Mabel!” Dipper’s pacing increases in speed, “How did you even get a time machine?” 

Mabel goes to speak but Dipper shushes her, “You know what? What’s done is done.” Dipper’s pacing ceases, “We just need to get him back to his own time and it’ll all be okay.”

A skreach from the twin's driveway indicates that one or both of their parents has just arrived home. Mabel and Dipper look at each other, as the same thought crosses both of their minds: they have to hide him. 

Dipper grabs the back of the swivel chair and drags it towards Mabel's room as Mabel hurriedly wipes up the blue time travel goop. The keys turn in the lock and their front door opens. 

"Oh, hi there Mabel," the twins' dad does a double-take when he sees Mabel's muddied state, "Do I want to know why you are covered in mud?"

"No,"

"Do I want to know where the swivel chair is?"

"Probably not,"

"What about what you are holding behind your back?"

"Definitely not,"

"Ok, just clean up the mess when you're done," He sighs and walks away. He wants to say this is the weirdest thing he's found his kids doing. He really does. 

Mabel scurries away to her room and closes the door behind her. Dipper is fiddling with the time machine on Mabel's bed and Hamilton, looking quite green in the face, is sitting next to him holding a garbage can. 

"Uhhhh," Hamilton moans, motion sick from his ride on the swivel chair. 

"Good news, we've done so much weird stuff in the past, Dad barely noticed the mud on me and the missing chair," Mabel says, cheerily. 

Dipper frowns, "I would not call that 'good' news, but as long as we can get chair-sick over here back to his own time then all's well," Dipper holds up the time machine, now patched with sparkly tape and animal stickers, "Working with the supplies in your room, I've been able to patch the hole and cooling system inside. Did you know that blue goop is actually coolant? Its really cool stuff, it seems to be-" 

Before Dipper could finish his sentence, or Mable could enjoy his punnery, a rip in time and space opens up in front of them. Four humanoid creatures burst through wearing uniforms, "Mabel Pines, you are under arrest for violation of the Time Regulation Act paragraph A subsection 7: Unauthorized use of a time machine. Please voluntarily hand over the time machine and we will take you into custody,"

"NEVER!!!" Mabel pushes Hamilton between herself and the officer. Hamilton then, already quite nauseated, proceeds to empty the contents of his stomach onto them. 

"I apologize for my rudeness," Hamilton says, ever eloquent, before vomiting once more.

Mabel turns to Dipper, “We need to go NOW!” She tries to grab the time machine out of Dipper’s hand but he pulls it away.

“I haven’t finished recalibrating it yet,” Dipper replies as he continues to bat Mabel away with his free hand, “If we go now, we could land up anywhere in time on the surface of the earth!”

“That is a chance I am willing to take!” Mabel tackles Dipper on her bed, giving up on her previous attempt to not get Dipper dirty.

As they fight over control of the time machine, a Time Enforcement Officer who was not incapacitated by ol’ Alex H’s vomit levels her gun at him. “We are authorized to use force to stun if you do not come willingly,” She says. Hamilton is able to sidestep just before she shoots, but only by knocking into Mabel’s dresser and sending it crashing onto the twins. 

Hamilton catches sight of the other officer trying to grab the Time Machine out of Dipper and Mabel’s hands as they roll off the bed. Though Hamilton is very displaced in both time and space and had no clue what the device does, he can tell it is valuable. He has to help the twins fight off these strange-looking people before they took the object. And he knows just how to do it.

Hamilton hops up onto Mabel’s bed. “Hello, good officers of the law,” He says directing his speech to the two officers still standing. One officer had been badly wounded by one of Mabel’s kicks when he tried to interfere with the sibling fight. While the remaining officer’s guns remained focused on Hamilton, they lower them enough to listen to him speak. Who wouldn’t want to hear the words of the famous Alexander Hamilton?

“I know not why you are here, nor why I am here, in this country, in this city, on this day,” Hamilton continues, “Climbed utop this teenager’s bed,” He glances back to see that Mabel and Dipper seem to have completed their squabble, and are now staring up at him, mesmerized just as the officers are, as he says his speech, “But I do know this, this one modern expression, having learned it from my good friend Mabel.”

Hamilton can feel the crowd of two before him, eating in his every word. Perhaps their lives were such a bore that even listening to a teen rant about not knowing things passed as entertainment. Regardless, he had things to do, people to see, fantastical future chairs to sit upon. Just before he jumps back to the twins and activates their device, he yells his final words of parting.

“Suck my d—”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AllHailProHeroThirteen04102016 gave me the idea for this fic in a comment they posted on Mabelton: An American Musical-Act 1. I hope this came close to what you imagined.  
> To all of the other readers, just know at this point I have a few chapters written in advance that I will post in the next few weeks, and that it only gets crazier. Good luck.   
> (Also, the excerpt in the summary is from chapter 2, in case y'all're wondering.)


	2. Magnets, Grappleing Hooks, and Lime-Green Cowboy Hats

The trio land on hard, almost metallic cement. “—ick!” Hamilton finishes.

“Alex, you were amazing back there!” Mabel says, wrapping the man-on-the-ten-dollar-bill in a hug, “Great use of slang!”

Hamilton pushes Mabel away just a bit so she wouldn’t get any of the vomit still clinging to the front of his shirt on her, and so he wouldn't get any more mud on him, “Thank you, I learned from the best. Or, I should think so. I have not met enough people from your time yet to confirm my assumption,” He pats the shorter girl fondly on her head, “Now, where are we?”

Around them, tall buildings shoot skyward and slick teardrop-shaped cars race around the street, six or seven feet above them. Their movements, while chaotic, are like a perfectly synchronized dance. Vehicles come within millimetres of each other, barely brushing sides as they shoot towards their destinations at breakneck speeds. While the sky above them is a dark, gloomy green, blue and orange billboards add colour to the world as they shine anywhere from three to thirty stories above them. 

Dipper crouches on the ground, examining the hard surface the group landed on, “I have my suspicions, but first. This material is incredible! It seems to have the structural stability of cement, with microfibers of some sort of metal embedded within it! The cars must be using magnets to move themselves around,” Dipper gestures above them, “That's why they can go at such a fast pace. No rolling friction, and barely any fluid friction either, given the shape of the crafts.”

Dipper continues to ramble on, fanboying over the technology like a true descendant of Stanford Filbrick Pines. “We’re in the future Mabel, the future!”

“Stop, y’all have violated the law,” The teens turn at the heavily accented voice to see a figure. Well, not a full figure. They look as though someone had chopped off the top half of a person, and screwed them to a large metallic bowl with a removable panel on the front. And then dressed them like a cowboy. 

Mable looks at Dipper, “Future cowboy-cyborg dystopia?”

Dipper nods, “Future cowboy-cyborg dystopia.”

If Hamilton had learned anything from his time growing up in the Leewards Islands, it was to run first, ask questions later. Standing up, he grabs Mabel’s hand and pulls her along with him as Dipper follows close behind.

The person-robot-cowboy who’s moving towards them at an alarmingly fast pace wears a floppy white cowboy hat atop their curly brown hair. A metallic silver badge glints on the front of their plaid shirt and leather vest. They draw two guns out of the hollister attached where their waist might have been.

While the cyborg-cowboy is quick to the draw, Mabel is quicker. From somewhere buried in her sweater, she pulls her prized possession. “Grappling hook,” She whispers before aiming for the sky and pulling the trigger.

The end of the hook crashes through the window of a flying vehicle above them. The vehicle lowers to the ground. Most likely a safety precaution, Dipper thinks. Mabel retracts her hook and hops in, much to the dismay of the vehicle's current passenger.

“AHHHHHHHH!” A woman shrieks as she is pushed out of her hovercar by an oddly dressed stranger who has ruined her vehicle and, more importantly, her day. She scrambles to get away from the scene of the crash and towards a nearby law enforcement officer. “Deputy, these here folks have done me wrong an’ destroyed my hovercar! And look at what happ’nd ta my hat!” She held up her lime-green cowboy hat which had a rip along the rim.

“I’ll be with ya in a minute, ma’am,” The officer tries to move around the woman to get a clean shot at their targets, but they have since disappeared, taking the vehicle with them. 

“This is officer Maflik Kajihd of district 616, do ya copy?” The officer speaks into their communication device attached to their hat. Once they get a response they continue, “We godda code 417 down here and require backup. Sendin’ coordinates now,” They press a few more buttons on their communication device before reattaching it to their hat. 

“Don’t worry ma’am. I’ll catch these outlaws and bring ‘em ta justice, if its the last thing I do,”


End file.
